I hold a vision...

I daren't dream too far or too generously. I fear falling from too great a height and breaking too many bones. But whatever, big things are moving and I'm starting to see how everything is woven together to work for the good of those who love Him and who have been called to according to His purpose. I can't say that I'll enjoy where I end up, but if Bonhoeffer is anything to go by, no-one bloody cares about that.

The dreams I dream for you
Are deeper than the ones you're clinging to...

Talking to Curtis tonight, I was affirmed of my vision. Positivity flowed, and it started to feel bigger then I was. We talked of a possible Nav home, of community, of involvement, of activity and love and life and friends and callings.

"I'm gald that you have visions for this"
~ Curto.

You know your failures
But I know your heart...

on the 17 back to my basement, I thought about where I was and felt a sense of empowerment, of capability and strength.

I remember breaking down in front of Joshua in CBC back in the days where the Star Team was still jamming together. I had watched the youths twist passionately in the emotive worship session I had led. Something that I had sworn off since the days of Megalife. I felt highly unprepared and highly out of control, yet powerful and formidable. Some funny yinging and yanging of pride and fear.

I fear pride.

You've read one page
I know the story...

I'm starting to see the image forming before me. But I think I spend too much time trying to figure out the future without living and preparing for it now. I need to stop wasting time on what I cannot control and concentrate on making the best out of what I have now. Life is too precious and too short to dream away.

You see your yesterdays
I see tomorrow...

But I see where it all comes from. It's like some cosmic game of Cluedo that's gradually unfolding. Pieces fit and serve some uncanny function. Sometimes artful, sometimes rediculous. But who am I too deem what's best?

I thank God though, for this summer with(out) Dennis. It seems that this has served to strengthen me. To teach me solidarity within myself and confidence. Being pushed out into the great unknown, quite by myself, I think it served me well. I couldn't care less about people's opinions while being concerned with community. So this is what I now do.

Let the old dreams die
Like stars that fade from view...

Dreams I dream for you ~ Avalon.