I miss you so.

Feels like forever.

Sometimes, in my moments of self-conciousness, I wish that you were here to watch me live my life, and have me close as your own. You'd be proud, you'd be pleased and amazed. Growth journeys are amazing to chart, and I do wish that you were here to witness this, what I've become and the direction that I'm headed.

I understand though, that our seperation was necessary for my growth. Riding in the back seat of Peter's van across the boarder into America, playing hotseat with people who resonate with difference as opposed to who I am, I started to feel a desire for home and familarity again. Being with you in a small confined space of a moving vehicle, without the fear and responsibility of decision making and choice. Of being that 16 year old again, tucked away in some oblivious concer of comfort.

I renouce that yearning and stick on to my present. This is my life, I am who I want to be, and that I have taken that journey predominantly without your tangible presence (albeit not without your influence), has altered the shape of my existance and being. I understand that I will never go back to where we once were, and to the relationship that sustained me all this years, but it's for the better.

And I'm sure, at the end of the day, that it has been all good. I will yearn and I will occasionally slip into despondency. But such moments will only serve to foil my present existance, will only serve to point me toward giving glory to the One who has made this all possible, beautiful. Growth is never painless, but the beauty of life resides in journey though.

it hurts to remember...

ALRIGHT! LARGE-SIZED CHESTS EVERYONE! NO MORE MEDIUMS!

~ Pre-rock opera David Crowder warm up.