No, it wasn't a shock. But a bitter reality that frightened me. Not that I have anything to fear at this point in time, only God can say if I will have to fight this battle in the future.

But for now, the image sits awkwardly still, on the edge of my mind: My beautiful grandmother, in her deep brown dressing gown and poofy coily hair, shuffling nervously to the edge of her property to see me off while waiting for the opportune time to say:

"你不可以嫁给红毛人"

Not as if that were looming around the corner anytime soon.

aye/ai... what can I say? Except that 白人看不懂，and given my enduring reaction after the exchange, what does that make me?