Thank you Thi, for sharing your thoughts you questions you interests and life with me. I feel like I already know your past, your present and your future. I think you have a lot of substance in the things you ponder upon and am glad that you think it appropriate to share them with me. I guess you can say that I think it's an honor. Although, I have to say that I think you're quite silly sometimes. And with regards to participating in the Amazing Race, I could only do it with you. Just because you're competitive and confident enough to swallow my hesitation.

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I remember earnest eyes and a troubled voice: "When will you learn Hannah? That the world is not as nice as you think it is? That there are people who would want to hurt? When will you grow up?" Oh I never thought much of it then, except it was sweet of him to worry for me so. And I guess it is true. To this day, I am naive and trusting, and quite stubbornly so. It's almost as if I refuse to believe that there are motives for actions out that that do not stem from the christian root of good intention. But simply put, I just can't find it within myself to believe that there is valid reason for people to act otherwise. I mean I know they do from brokenness and selfishness and blah blah blah, but in my spirit, I just can't see things that way.

So when it does happen, it's a rude slap in the face and that's when I come crawling to a coffeeshop with Glen to commiserate on how we have lost faith in humanity. Or go running to Mel and his loving laugh to stop his unloving fists willingly raised in my defense. And then Sarah and her stories of encouragement, Shu and her listening ear. Tom and his ridiculousness and humour. Who would've thought that a dramatic reading would make it all a lot better? Jeff and his insight, Thi and his friendship, to me - the Ryzobium, Robby and his conversations...

How do you get through life?
Roger and Mel, at different times with equal exasperation.

Oh just with people like you.

Everything is lost - uh oh!
But I know that you can take it to the Lord
Everything you want - uh oh!
Is it all that you can gather for yourself?
Do you love a lot - uh oh!
It's the love that changes gifts to everyone
Illinois is lost - uh oh!

Is it strange that you perpetuate yourself?
You wonder what it costs - uh oh!
It's the joy the joy that he will carry to the door
Everything is lost - uh oh!
Still I know that you can take it to the world
(all that he has given to the world)

~ The Perpetual Self or What would Saul Alinsky Do? by Sufjan Stevens.

Anyway, church was refreshing and quenching. Now I am going to sleep.