ok can't talk too much cos internet cafe time is almost up.
Been a blast. 3 on a moto against traffic during rush hour and being on a lemur moto in the middle of some village with the other 20 passengers looking at you suspiciously is the best cambodian experience ever.

Oh and Thi is the best. We play this game. I entertain him, and he saves me from myself.
Like just an hour ago, I could've gotten myself killed by angry locals with whom I bargained and fought over for string I could hang my washing on. I wanted to buy it for 12 cents, they wanted 14. No go.

We can never go back that street again.

Shit. over time. Might as well blog somemore as thi says.

But yes, I managed to get my Laos visa, for those of you who know the trauma I went through wrt to the embassies, sneaky hotels and international children's day, be relieved. It's here, in my hands and I will be shimming up the Mekong River soonish. I will get to stay in huts lit only by candles and tiptoe around landmines and bandits.

Dear god, protect me.

I will try to blog if the area permits, and if my singaporean Kiasuness doesn't get the better of me.

Now thi and I will head back on a Moto, becuase we cannot walk back through the streets where the lady was selling the 14 cent string. I could've bought the whole roll for 50 cents. But hey, I love a good bargain.

Actually I don't and have been torn up over what an ass i was. But it's over. And I still need to wash my clothes.

Love,
Hannah

Ciao

As I told Dr Steven Lee, I'm about to take off to cambodia now to shimmy up the Mekong river. As forced by pampering churchmates, I am taking my cellphone with me and have gotten a new plan (and number) that allows for roaming. So for those who are fearful of my safety, please contact my parents who will recieve daily text messages from me spelling assurances of me being phsyically, emotional and spiritually intact.

Ps Wee and Ps Doris recounted the incident in Ratanakiri where they were nearly kidnapped by bandits, and David mentioned a documentory pertaining to a combination Khmer Rouge killings and landmines. A little fazed, I am still very grateful that my parents have allowed me to go, fuss-free and have helped me in innumerous ways.

Sometimes, taking good care of yourself means letting people take care of you.

I am so in Singapore right now. I guess that's a good thing, enjoying where you're at and really being here, in the community. I have to say that I have the best family in the world. I could gush but it's really pointless*.

Where you stand affects the perception of what you see. I stand here, and I look there. And I wonder if it's worth it. We buy, we sell, and as much as I rail against Economics as a sort of self-perpatuating lie, over-rated and distorted... we buy and sell. We change this for that, and in relationships, him for her.

And I am sure I have. And I sometimes find myself asking if it was worth it.
No, worth is the wrong question to ask, this isn't a question of economics.

Was it wise?

And now that I am persuing. Is this wise? And ever so quietly, is it worth it?

* So daddy tells us this highly ridiculous story of a this time in Israel with the ship when he saw a squrriel. He was so excited, he took off the shirt he was wearing, threw it on the unsuspecting animal and rushed off to share his new pet with his teammates.

They looked, they saw, they ran. It was actually a skunk.

I just have images of my dad, topless, holding a bundle the size of a baby and calling it a squrriel. This beats the time he tried to wash his car in Calgary, in sub-zero weather.

I am holding a huge lump of shit in my hands.
The celing fan underwhich my extended family sits pensively spins hard and fast.
Like inevitability runs.

I had an absolutely rad thought today that I wanted to get blogged down, but it slipped by the catches of my mind and I can't seem to find it anymore. Oh well.

Life in Singapore hasn't been anything spectacular, I've been giggling a lot with old friends, painting the town red with new ones and finding flames in the oddest places.

Tristan and Dennis: Two people from my youth still dancing strong. Watching their salty backs swaggering to some brain-numbing skirt-chasing tune, I caught a smile on my lips as my heart succumbbed to all resistance toward affection.

Cherry: For when we talked of sibling sex.

Erwin and Belmont: My social circle is only a circle because the two of you were uncovered holding hands in my life.

Shubs and JB: For being Canadian, and Singaporean with me.

Oh I could go on, but I really need to shower, I'm feeling gross. But before I finish I just wanted to note a funny trend that has occured of late:

4 boys, 4 geeks, and a lady (by some definition).

UBC physics or just plain wacko social theory; I've had a blast. Please let's have more beers in void decks or walks along hertiage Singapore.

And then the Hockey. So Colin and I are the newest hardcore fans of the Winter Flames.
For their big hearts, heterogenity, and humanity. For car rides that urge me to reevaluate my life and 4 am suppers.

All because of Ian.
Because I will always have a soft spot for him no matter how much of a bitch he decides to become.
And you know you love me, and always will.

And my parents. My mummy makes everything all ok.
She held my hand today when I was getting shots.
Then I held hers.

And so it is.

What you lack in experience you make up for in humility and discipline
~DQ

in everything and anything.

Recognize that those who rail fiercely, pathetically asserting whatever sliver of authority and righteousness that they have (or think they have) with willpower and violence, really do so out of insecurity.

So to them (or us), and to the rest of the world, be humble.
Be very humble.

Bend gracefully, for such artistry is the greatest strengh to be learnt.

Like water; flowing peacefully beyond the realms of violence, it takes the path of least resistance. And in doing so, carves canyons out of stone.

God didn't choose to win the world over by asserting violence and authority.
He did so through grace.

Lord, teach me not to triumph over my enemies with such verbage.

I'm back, with the world falling to my feet splintering to pieces.
Irreconcilable.

Standing helpless in the midst of change, I find the futility of planning my course in my mind when the Lord determines my steps. Perhaps this isn't so bad.

The heart-hurt though came today when I surrendered my NRIC, Passport, and Citizenship Cert to the ICA. I don't know what to do. And it costs a bomb to travel around SEA on my Canadian passport. Dammit.

Anyway, anyone want to go to Thailand 11-18th of june? I have a ticket I need to sell. Will go cheap.

Home

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow in love.
Where there is injury, pardon.
Where there is doubt, faith.
Where there is despair, hope.
Where there is darkness, light.
Where there is sorrow, joy.

Oh divine master grant that I may, not so much seek to be consoled as to console,
to be understood as to understand,
to be love as to love.

For it's in giving that we receive,
and it's in pardoning that we are pardoned,
and it's in dying that we are born into eternal life.

Amen.

How can I be so selfish?

Am I anywhere near ready?

Face pressed against the ceiling, I was shoulder pressed by Dave, Tony's 6ft 6 friend from Wisconsin. Tom and I spun frisbees around, running and laughing hard.

Talking to Mel I realise that my life comes to me easy.
And I am in danger of seeing everything as cheap.

Grace is costly.
Thank you.

And I love you more then anything in this world

The older I get, the more I anticipate being my parent's daughter.
Life does go in circles.

Love, your baby girl.