One last time

I�m looking for a way to feel you hold me
To feel your heart beat just one more time
I�m reaching back, trying to touch the moment
Each precious minute that you were mine

No more of this. It's the forward run from now on and I won't be looking back like this anymore. I gave myself till the 18th to heal. Not to get over Seth completely (I sometimes wonder if this is even possible), but to be able to function without a stick in my eye.

How do you prepare, when you love someone this way,
To let them go a little more each day?

I have to admit though, going into the relationship wasn't rational. I was naive and didn't know what to look out for. I expected to be able to leave whole and happy. I never expected to be taken in so deeply and to love so intensely. But well, I did. I sometimes feel like I've done the impossible.

Some days missing you is overwhelming
When it hits me you�re not coming back
And in my darkest hours, I have wondered
Was it worth it for the time we had?

I think what shook me the most was that despite how much I loved Seth, or wanted to be with him, there was just no peace in the relationship. The sinking heaviness drowned everything. I guess it is true, that when you seek God, He aligns your heart with his will. I never stopped loving Seth, I never wanted to leave. I just had to. But nevermind that. The fascinating thing thing was that my will was never changed. It was me.

My thoughts get kinda scattered, but one thing I know is true
I bless the day that I found you

I do. I really do. Pain without regret.
I do not want to retract any moment.

The stars we put in place
The dreams we didn�t waste
The sorrows we embraced
The world belonged to you and me
The oceans that we crossed
The innocence we�ve lost
The hurting at the end
I'd go there again,
Because it was beautiful.

The rules we stepped aside
The fear that we defied
The thrill of the ride
The fire in our hearts that burned
The oceans that we crossed
The innocence we�ve lost
The hurting at the end
I'd go there again,
Because it was beautiful.

Deep breath now. And the new life begins. Mourning's over and I don't quite know what to do with myself. But that's alright, I don't need to know. It's all good. I'm a little excited and a little sad. And I think that that's the way it'll be for a long time. I'm not worried.

You are beautiful.
Thank you Seth.