Thursday

Oh I do struggle with being foolish.

So dinner came and went, quite uneventfully.
"What are we doing here?"
"Just having dinner"
(kick under the table from sue)
"Oh, ok..." And dinner commences... and ends.

...

I run into an odd aquaintence and blurt the whole story out leaving him and his girlfriend confused and randomized. I think that was my spazzled insides leaking out.

Sue hands me a lesson on grace and I suddenly feel as if my eyes were opened.

"You are honest, you can be honest. But not everyone can. do not impose that on people."

And that is true of Dennis. He is who he is and I am who I am and that does not mean that they coincide.

And that is why I am in love with Belmont.
And this is why I must let go.

Oh God, I am yours, save me.

And despite it all, I think i have found release from this madness.
Oh I am hoping.

Just leave.
I won't be here.