Confidence turned into intrigue, which turned into friendliness, which in turn transformed into openness, but later weariness and discomfort at residual arrogance. This arrogance later transmuted into a soft cry for attention. I'm also not entirely sure that all this occurred in a linear fashion in so much as they shifted with the shifting of my moods and lenses. I am wondering now then, how to do justice to all parties invovled. How far should I understand that a snub is really insecurity in velvet while maintaining a decent level of respect? Perhaps it just boils down to minding my own emotional and psychological business.

He once said that I ought to be ashamed for riding through life on my smile and sweetness. Emphasis on shame (I soon forgot to smile and that life was sweet). I took the point and a little more, for I discovered that it is the same crime to bludgeon through life, blind, wielding the scars and insecurities with little grace. So I came to the conclusion (and boy do I love conclusions! Temporary as they may be) that I must now learn to be firm, be precise, be good both in person and in work, be confident and productive, without losing either smile or scar - for we are the sum of our experiences.

If the story's written on my face, does it show:
Am I strong enough to walk on water?
Smart enough to come in out of the rain?
Or am I a fool going where the wind blows?
~ Goin' Where the Wind Blows :: Mr. Big (Concert Oct 12th!)