How deep the Father's love for us,
How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only Son
To make a wretch His treasure

How great the pain of searing loss,
The Father turns His face away
As wounds which mar the chosen One,
Bring many sons to glory

Behold the Man upon a cross,
My sin upon His shoulders
Ashamed I hear my mocing voice,
Call out among the scoffers

It was my sin that helf Him there
Until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life
I know that it is finished

I will not boast in anything
No gifts, no power, no wisdom
But I will boast in Jesus Christ
His death and resurrection

Why should I gain from His reward?
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom

I prayed my first honest pray today. And you wouldn't believe how difficult it was. And again in Hist 403, I reaffirmed my conclusion that there is nothing to do in life that's worth more then following Christ, wholeheartedly. It's frightening letting go of what you 'know' to be the set truth about God. God who is particular and yet, universal. I learn that my spiritual lessons fossilize into dead things and that I cannot expect God to be who I think he is and yet, can trust in his unfailing love. I am afraid that He will let me down, I am afriad to obey and have faith and yet I crave the relationship Lucy has with Aslan. That only comes through discipleship and obedience.

I think there is nothing I want more, then to continually stand in the presence of God, and to be content in the suffering that is the cross.