now, get past this one.

I want to make it all right everything that I've said and done that has vaguely displeased anyone anything that I am that I've done that I've said that renders me unacceptable unlovable or disapproved of But then I realise that that would entail a loss of identity a compromise of the self then I question what I am and what is right and what is wrong and I realise I cannot come to any defination I am not even sure of what is characteristically me I think that is my greatest problem reconciling who I am with what I want with who I should be with who others think I am with what others want me to be There are so many parts of me that I repress for this I think I just want to be comfortable oh dammit.

And Love. Wasn't and isn't an easy thing at all.
But Agape. To love despite the cost, despite the ignorance, despite the process.
The Passion of the Christ was overwhelming, earth-shaking and ultiamately: numbingly quietening.
I can't feel much now, it hasn't changed my life or my perspective of God, i did want to faint, I did want to cry. I also marveled at the cinematography and make-up and thought that some scenes looked curiously LOTRish. Were the jews pieces of cardboard at one point? hmmmmm...

Now I'm out of the cinema, with a few new things to think about but for the most part, i sink into the mundanity of routine and grapple with everyday UBC vanier life.